One of the those "what was I thinking" moments

So last night as I got up to go the bathroom for my 3 am trip,(seriously EVERY night for the past 2 months at 3 am) I had the thought "well maybe this will be the time of night the baby needs to feed and he/she is just preparing me." And then suddenly I had this panic of "I will be starting over with night time feedings....I hope this baby is a good sleeper like the rest of the kids.....Livie is at that point where she could be potty trained in the near future if I pushed it and now I will be starting ANOTHER kid in diapers."

I have to say I kinda freaked out for a minute. I mean, Livie is 2 and if we weren't having another baby we would be looking at a diaper free time probably in 6 months or so. She is becoming a big girl. Alex, JJ, and Kennedy will all be in school starting in the fall(albeit for different amounts of time but still) and I will only have Livie home for 3 mornings a week. We are right on the edge of a new phase of our lives(a baby free phase) IF we weren't having another one.

It made me really aware once again, that this baby is the last one. I am ready after this one to move on to the next part of our lives and focus on the raising our kids, doing all the school stuff with all the kids, etc and not just trying to survive the toddler years with a house still standing. I don't mean to make it sound like having babies and toddlers is horrible, because really I think I have some pretty awesome kids, but there are certain things that are harder to be able to do with a family our size with a baby, especially when John is at work. We were just getting out of that where I could take all the kids to places by myself and not have a baby to worry about while the kids ran free.

This baby is very loved and wanted, and it will complete our family nicely. Now that is not to say that we will not be foster parents again or will never adopt, we very well might or we might not. I don't know where God will lead us in that regard, but as far as expanding our family biologically, this is the last home-grown Schimek that will be made by John and me. lol