Phases and grace go hand in hand

Well it has been over a year and a half since my last posts. Funny how while some things have changed for the most part life seems to just have continued on.

One thing that I notice about having 5 kiddos is that we always seem to be in the midst of phases. One child is leaving a phase to have the next go through it. The never ending revolving door of phases. lol 

I wonder if past parents just started the saying "it's just a phase" as a way to be hopeful. Being just a phase means that at some point then, that this phase will come to an end and yhur child(ren) will one day move past this annoying, hair pulling out, screaming inducing part of their childhood, leaving you hopefully in a better spot sanity wise.

Of course what most will never tell you is that your child will then likely start a new phase, often a harder phae. A new area to test your parenting skills at and then you cling to that hope once more. And if you have more than one child(or for you real nuts like me, many more children) then you will have multiple children, in multiple phases all at once. Pulling you in so many different directions that your head will spin. And your sanity you ask? Well it is better to just wave goodbye to it, because it wont be returning anytime soon.

Then when you are at your wits end, rocking back and forth in the corner, babbling to yourself reminding yourself "It's just a phase" the universe will grant you a huge blessing and you will see your child doing something completely amazing, like reading a book to a younger sibling or playing nicely all together without fighting, or a family or friend will call you up to share something sweet and kind your child did or said, and you will realize that whatever you are doing as a parent, whatever you are saying to child amidst what seems to be constant yelling and correcting at times, that they are turning into some amazing little people.

You will look back at your outing to Walmart with them and how you felt they were running all over and everyone who passed you was staring at you and questioning your parenting skills and why you even felt qualified to entertain the idea of children and you will take off the non rosed color glasses and realize that your outing and the perception of the trip was two different things.

I remember once when Emmy was tiny and John and I took all 5 kiddos out for lunch. Emmy was needing attention and the others were just being kids. We had decided to take them to a little diner, which we regretted because it was full of elderly couples and we were sure we were ruining their lunch. Here I was a tired mom, with a tiny baby and 4 young children, whose only real "crime" was acting like normal children and I felt like a failure.

Then as we were leaving we had a lady come up and tell us she was a retired teacher and her husband and her enjoyed seeing our family and mentioned how well behaved our kids were. John and I looked at each. "BEHAVED?" but as we looked through the eyes of grace and mercy and saw the reality of the day, we saw they were actually pretty good. And to top it all off we found out a lovely gentleman paid for our lunch, also commenting on how well behaved our children were.

So fellow parents, whatever PHASE you find yourself and your children to be in in this season of your life, show yourself and your children some grace. Someday you might actually miss this season of life. (I know, I know, it seems unlikely, but trust me, it does happen)

Memories

What's does it take for a moment in your life to be a forever memory? I was thinking about this today after talking with Ryan. There are some memories I have of my childhood that might to others be no big deal, to them it might not be worth remembering. So what does it take to file away a moment into your brain for the rest of your life.

I think for the most part it is the feelings that you experienced with that moment. It isn't always a good feeling, sometimes a moment is forever burned into your mind because of the feeling of fear, sadness, or hurt.

So this has me questioning what are some memories that I have from my childhood. I have many good and bad, some that bring a smile to my face and others that still make me feel like that little hurt child. Sometimes I feel like for me the bad memories from when I was younger seem so much more vivid than the good. Which is funny because as I get older I sometimes have a hard time remembering fights John and I had or something that happened to hurt me. It will take someone mentioning something to even make me remember those adult bad moments. Weird right?!

So I started thinking of memories from childhood that make me smile.

• I remember walking out in the rain at our old house and enjoying the fresh smell.
• I remember playing outside with my brother and sister on the patios. Our house had a back patio, front patio, and side patio and they were all connect by sidewalks and I can remember us pretending the sidewalks were secret passage ways in a castle and we would escape from the dungeon.
• I remember walking up and down the street from my grandma's and our house and talking to myself about things. This has always been a way I worked through things. Little did I know God was listening the whole time.
• I remember the cabin my grandpa built us. It was the most perfect little log cabin with 2 windows and we would play house in it. One chilly day, I took my little kitty in there along with a thermos of hot tea and pretended that I lived inthe woods all my myself. I had a rocking chair in there and my kitty and I stayed cuddled up in a blanket all warm. My brother and sister and I would also use this as a jail and lock each other in it. lol
• I remember pulling out all my barbies in my grandma's living room and playing all afternoon while her and grandpa watched the soaps and napped. We would take up the whole living room, we had so many barbies
• I remember using my grandparent's dining room as my personal sewing station. Grandpa used to tease me he was running a sweat shop. lol
• I remember buying a 6 pack and a pound with my dad when he would get us for visits once and a while and we would sit in the part and eat it before going to Grandmas.

I wonder what memories John and I are leaving with our kids. When they look back at their childhood, will they have lots of fond memories of us being happy, or will they have to rack their brains to search for a good memory of us. I think our kids will have good memories for the most parts. Bad memories will be remembered too I am sure. But I hope that when my kids tell their kids about their childhood they tell their kids about how every so often we would have family night and get a papa murphy's pizza and get a movie and turn out all the lights and enjoy being a family. Or that sometimes we go grab subways and go to the park for a picnic. Or how we enjoy laughing and lots of hugs. How mommy will cry over sad movies and they make fun of me. How mommy and daddy hug and kiss all the time and the kids tell us how gross we are. That we have love, lots of love and not a day goes by without hearing I love you said in this house. Those are the memories I hope my kids remember.