I don't know about you but in our household we struggle with attitudes and behaviors in ours. And I would love to say that it is in the kiddos only and that my husband and I NEVER have bad attitudes or behaviors. But alas that is not true, not by a long shot.

I have really been thinking on why we get stuck in a pattern of bad attitudes and behaviors. How it is that those nasty comments, nasty attitudes, and all around nastiness can so easily take over our lives, our families, our hearts. 

One big huge reason I think is we end up justify our bad behaviors and bad attitudes. We get to a point where we are so easily offended, so easily upset that we feel justified in being nasty, in being in a bad attitude. Our inner voice loves to scream why we are justified for our actions!! And how dare anyone question our justification!!! 

I don't know about you but I find that this justification leaves me exhausted!! Being in a bad mood and so easily offended all the time steals our joy! It disrupts our homes!! It can ruin marriages!! That justification can leave us bitter and miserable, and even make us cruel to those we love.

One thing I tell my kiddos is that we can't control others actions and attitudes, but we can control ours. The problem is while we CAN control our actions and attitudes, so often we end up justifying why we DON'T. Giving reasons why it is completely understandable.

I have been praying that God changes this in me. That He gives me a renewed attitude and heart. Honestly I didn't really start actively praying for this until I already saw evidence of this happening in my heart already. When I already noticed a change and I saw how much freedom was in that change. I don't want to be so shackled to my attitude of justification, which also means shackled in my anger, bad attitude, fill in the blank, that I lose all joy in my life. 

I am not meaning that we don't have reasons to be annoyed in situations from time to time, or being angry over something is wrong. But I notice so often something that really should only mildly annoying before could make me so absolutely angry. And why? Because I felt justified in my anger.

Last night John and I went out for dessert. I really wanted this particular dessert from a particular restaurant, so that is where we went. We go to order and low and behold they are out of said dessert. Now this could have made me really upset, I mean I wanted that dessert, I came for THAT dessert my inner justification could have screamed. Yet I wasn't upset, I actually was 100% ok and chose another dessert that had grabbed my eye.....then about 5 minutes later the waiter was walking towards our table. I commented to John "I bet he is going to say they are out of my dessert." And they were. 

Now again my inner child could have screamed that I was justified to be upset, to be nasty to the waiter, to refuse to tip him for having the audacity to not only be out of one dessert I wanted but TWO!! But my response....I laughed out loud. Seriously I laughed out loud. And I ordered a third dessert that sounded amazing. And it was. 

Now I tell you this not to sound all amazing and thinking I am better than anyone who might have been offended, but because I am absolutely amazed and appreciative of this change in my heart. The change that God has been doing. I don't want to be a person who looks for ways I have been offended, wronged, or am justified to be in a bad mood, because you know what? I could always find a reason to be offended, wronged in someway, or justified for being in a bad mood. I want to find reasons to be happy, to see the blessings around me, reasons to smile and thank God for this change in my heart. 

Choose your words wisely

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  ~Luke 6:45

This is truly the truth of God. We see this everyday in the world we live. If a person's heart and mind is preoccupied with lust, that is what consumes his words. If money rules his heart, then he talks about money. If their heart is full of discord and hatred, then they will spread discord and hate through their words.

People are very good at covering up what truly runs them at times, but it only takes time and a discerning heart to see what people's mind and heart are full of. They might be able to cover up their true view, but sooner or later, they will show what truly is in their hearts.

So a prayer I have for this new year is that I would take note of the words I use and when examine what is truly in my heart in this season of my life. I want God to take all the junk that is stored up in my heart and cleanse me of the negative thoughts, the fast complaints, and that I would become content to wait in the Lord and find strenght in His loving arms in my time of weakness.

I'm Not Enough!!! Yeah!!!

One of my biggest fears as a parent has always been, what if I somehow royaly screw up my kids. I mean to the point where they are sitting in a counselor's office years down the road telling them how they can not be productive adults who love the Lord because I didn't buy them a transformer every paycheck, etc. Now I am just being silly over the reason, but we all know that we carry around pains from our childhood that can still haunt us if we choose to let them. No matter how great the parent, they are bound to do something that leaves their child with some sort of pain, whether big or small. No parent is perfect.

But I also know that God is greater than my biggest shortfall! His grace is sufficient to cover every hurt or pain that my actions might cause my children. Praise God for that!!! I am by no means perfect, I try to do my best. To live a life that is honoring to God, but I still mess up, fall into sin, just like everyone else. I have yelled at my kids, lost my temper, and been cranky more times than I would care to share. But praise the Lord, that the God that I serve is big enough to show me the wrong in my actions and to heal my childrens' hearts.

I have been thinking about this subject very much in the past 6 weeks. As you know, my cousin Ryan has come to live with us and what a journey God is taking us on! It has been a trying, great, hectic, crazy, terrifying, confusing, joyous, amazing path that we have gone on through these past 6 weeks. We are in a situation that I always thought someday I would like to try(being foster parents) but never imagined it at this time in our lives or with one of my family members.

And in this situation is the child at the center, Ryan. He is an amazing young man, who God loves more than he knows. The second he was concieved in his mother's womb, God placed a call on his life, a purpose that Ryan has yet to discover. I have seen the pain and scars that have been inflicted on his young heart. Whether on purpose or unintentionally, the life he knew before coming to live with us has had an impact on his life. He has many things to overcome, many ways that he needs to grow in, and we hope to help him with these. And then my fear creeps up. What if I am not enough to do all that needs to be done in his life?!

Well I am not! Nope, me, Mandi Schimek, am not enough to heal his heart, mature him in ways he needs matured, and show him the love God has for him. Don't I feel great now, knowing I am not enough.

Actually I feel freed!! I am NOT enough!! Yeah!! This is not a yoke I have to carry! You know why? My Lord and Savior is enough! He is able to carry this yoke for me. I can come to him with all my insecurities in this situations, my fears, my prayers, my dreams for Ryan and our family, and lay them at His feet. He will cover all the places I can not, He will give me strenght when I am weak, He will give me all that I need to meet the needs of our 4 children and Ryan.

I thank God that I don't have to be Super Woman to do this! That I can be a woman who is imperfect, inadequate, and sometimes downright stubborn and by God's grace and mercy, we will not only make it through this situation just barely getting by, but my God will make this a situation where we come out stronger, as a family, as a couple, as parents, as people, as children of God. This will not only work, this will be amazing!! I serve a God that goes beyond the beyond! He doesn't just work something out, He is a God of miracles who pours blessings and mercy over us!

Praising God in the midst of this trial!

What a week it has been! We have been busy and stressed beyond belief. But praise the Lord that in the midst of this time of trial, that God is still on his throne. All this junk can be used for the glory of God in the long run if we just give it to him. Praise God for his mercy and grace He pours over us daily. He gives us strength that we could never have on our own and gives us the endurance for all of this.

Tomorrow is 4 weeks since Ryan has been in our home. I honestly couldn't imagine him not being here. He has fit into our family so well. Doesn't mean that there have not been struggles or issues, but it is going so much smoother than I thought it would. I am just praying that we can form the parent/child bond. Sometimes I wonder how he really feels about all this. Last night in wednesday night church they were talking about the relationship between their family(parents, siblings, the ones you live with) and I wondered how Ryan feels knowing he is living with his cousin and her family and having to explain that.

Tomorrow is also 4 weeks since Ryan's mom has had any contact with him. No phone calls, no asking for visits, nothing. I just find that extremely sad. I am praying that we are helping to feel the void that not having his mom here leaves. That he feels loved, wanted, and secure that he has a place in our family.

Today I went to the first appearance of Ryan's case. It was sad. You go into this room with other people whose cases are also going to be covered and so I saw the other side of this situation. I saw 2 parents very obviously not in a position to be the parents God desires them to be, looking like they are unable to care for their own basic needs let alone the needs of their child. I could see that they truly desired to be reunited with their child, but is that desire enough to motivate them to do what the courts will ask of them I don't know.

I was glad that I got to see this part though because at the moment I am very bitter towards those desire drugs over what is best for their children. We have opened our home, and our hearts to a child that has had a hard life. I have no clue what he has seen, but I am sure it would shock me. I am dealing with trying to heal this child whose life has been upset because of the love of drugs. I looked at these people praying that the Lord would convict them and change their hearts so their child does not have to live one more minute with drugs being top priority.

Then Ryan's case came up. It might not have been the best thing for me to go today, because I had just left the counselor's office where I was trying to get Ryan set up for counseling. Talking to the counselor made me realize just how affected Ryan could be by this all. How deep his hurts could be. It broke my heart and frankly ticked me off that a parent, my own aunt could do this to her child. Then to have to go to the court hearing and see that his mother didn't even show up. That Ryan isn't even worth showing up for. And to hear the man he thinks of as his dad to say via phone conversation that he isn't dad and never really acted as one.

This little boy has probably never been loved like he should. He doesn't know what it is like to know without a doubt that mommy is always there for you, because look at what has been his truth so far.

Please pray for our family. For Ryan that he comes to trust us, and in time love us like a child loves their parent and most importantly that he comes to know the Lord and trust him as his Savior. For John and I, that the Lord would give us the endurance to do what we feel God is calling us too. That we can come to love Ryan as our child and for wisdom in how to go day by day through this uncertian journey. And for our kids that they can adjust to open their hearts to Ryan and be ok with sharing their home and parents with another child. Please pray that we all can deal with the emotional rollercoaster that we are bound to go through throughout this time.

My Big Bro!!

I have been extremely blessed to have a brother who is more then a brother, he is truly one of my best friends. He is 20 months older than me, but in school he was a year ahead of me. And we actually graduated the same year, I recieved my diploma before he did.(A comes before C, haha) And that might have bothered most brothers, they might have viewed it as annoying their their little sister was sitting beside them during graduation and sharing a party, but not my brother. We had a blast joking during graduation.

In fact my brother and I are still really close. He just so happens to be John's best friend, so when he comes to visit, all the family is happy, I get to see my brother, John gets his video game buddy, and the kids get their cool uncle to play with. John and I actually met through Casey, they used to play football together.

Casey is an amazing man. He is funny, sensitive, and has a huge heart. I pray that someday the Lord will bring the right woman into my brother's life, a woman who builds him up, loves him despite his flaws(yes, even he has some), and create a strong marriage and family with him.

My brother is always up for goofing around. Here is him wearing his sweater for our "ugly sweater party" with the youth kids.

And here is a picture of Livie, Casey, and me(not my favorite of me, but I love it anyway because I don't get many pictures of us together) My prayer for my brother is that he would start to see himself as God sees him, as someone beautiful and precious, someone he created with a purpose that only he can do. To realize that he is not only worth something, but he is invaluable to the kingdom of God and that he would no longer get his sense of value(or sometime lack of value) of himself from other's views.

I love you Casey and am so proud of the man you are and the man I know God has for you to be.

After listening to a conversation between a mom and her child today, it got me thinking that sometimes if we are not careful, parents encourage undesirable attitude or behaviors in our children. Often we think we are helping but really we are not.

It is easy to try and explain away a child that throws a fit everytime they have to share a toy with another child. So we use the "their just not used to sharing" excuse, or "that is their favorite toy."

Or when your child is picky and doesn't like to eat anything but plain noodles and bread, it is easy just to make them that for every meal, instead of fighting with them over expanding their pallet.

Or when your child is rough and fights with other kids all the time, it is easy to just say "well that's a boy for you."

Or if your child always has a meltdown in public and is a terror in stores it is easier just to stay home.

Or you kid is always getting into trouble at school, and instead of allowing the teacher to handle it, you go into the classroom and try and dismiss your child's actions and "come to the rescue. Yet again."

And believe me I am speaking from experience. I have 2 boys and 2 little girls, who have tried and tested me over and over. And sometimes it is just easier to act like it is ok, and not face it. Because who wants to admit to themselves, or worst yet, other moms that our kids are not perfect angels 24-7.

And these seem like such little things when they are 4 or 5, but the problem is that if you don't get a handle on it early on, you will end up with a 15 year old that can not control their temper, who still doesn't share, and who expects to be cater too because they don't like this or that.

Life is not fair. It can be cruel and nasty and if we don't raise our children to realize that it is how you handle life that makes the difference, then no one else will. Nobody is going to come to your child's rescue when they are an adult. We need to raise our kids to handle disappointment, to sometimes do things they dislike, and to be in control of their own actions. Praying that the Lord will give me wisdom and guidance on raising my kids, because without God's help, I can't do it alone!

Need New Books for Our School Library

To I went to the school to help the Liberian start working on the school's library. Most of our school books are donated which is totally amazing, but the also means that the majority of them look really old. And lets face it kids often don't look past the cover to see the adventure that a good book could take them on. So our goal is to try and replace older looking ones with either new versions of the same titles if they are really good ones, or totally different books.

Looking through the books made me think of my own love affair when reading and where it all started. I have always enjoyed reading, but it really started with my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Fudge. She would read to our class almost everyday. We read some really great books, I don't even remember the titles of all of them, but I can still remember some, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, The Boxcar Children, and the Orphan Train Children series. It is unfortunate that kids do not know the fun they can have by opening the pages of a book. What lands they can see, life they can live.

So my prayer is that we can find good deals on books for our library or receive some donations of newer books that we can place on our book shelves. I am planning on trying and finding some tomorrow at the local used book store.

God loves them!!

From time to time I will get on the webpage for children in the Nebraska foster system who are available for adoption. I would love to one day be able to open our home and our hearts to a child that is in need of a forever family. It just breaks my heart that there are kids still on this page that I first saw on the page over a year and a half ago. And there are teens that are older that probably have little hope to be adopted. Most people when they think about adopting they want a younger child. It just breaks my heart.

And you never know why they are in the system, what their past is. Are they orphans who have no family able to support them? Were they abandoned? Were they taken away from their parents? Was their prior home live a nightmare? Have they been abused, emotionally, sexually, or physically? And the biggest question is this.....Do they know that they have a heavenly father that loves them? Do they know that God adores them, created them for a purpose, and has great desires for their lives?

It raises the question, could after being abused, abandoned, unloved for so long, could they ever open their hearts to accept the love God has for them?

Lord I pray for these precious treasures that are in need of love and a family. Lord, guide your people to open their lives and family to these orphans. You have called the church to care for the widows and the orphans. Lord, rise up your church to carry out this call. Lord, prepare our hearts.

Here are two kids who captured my heart, Chavon who is reaching the age of being out of the system and will continue her life with no forever family.
And Ethan who is a handsome little 4 year old boy, who dreams of a mommy and daddy to tuck him every night.

His will, not ours!

"How little chance the Holy Ghost has nowadays. The churches and missionary societies have so bound him in red tape that they practically ask Him to sit in the corner while they do the work themselves." ~C.T. Studd

I read this quote a couple of years ago and it still sticks in my head. Then a couple of weeks ago I was listening to a program on the radio, I believe it was Focus on the Family, but I am not sure. Anyway the guy speaking said the often people will make decisions or plans for something and it might even be viewed as a good decision, but if God was not included in the planning, then it is an ungodly decision because He had no part in it. Now that is not to say that if after starting something you stop and pray asking God for forgiveness for not following his lead and ask for blessings over that decision that he will not bless it.

But we have gotten into a routine of making decisions and plans without even praying and asking for God's guidence and then as an after thought, or possibly when things are going wrong we stop and pray to God about it. We need to start rising up and being the church, the body of Christ, that we are called to be. To go to the Lord in prayer BEFORE we decided something, and here is the point to remember, actually LISTEN to what he says. To not let our own fleshly desires get ahead of God's desires.

To all the church leaders, me included, even if we have a great idea that we feel will further our church or whatever ministry we are serving in, if we have not prayed and listen to God in that, then it is not a godly decision. We often feel if we are working and doing something for the kingdom of God then it is right no matter what. No, God has called us all to a ministry, to do something for the Body of Christ that we can only do. Just like God does not put a hand where a foot belongs, he does not desire for someone called to children's ministry to be the church office person, or the person meant to reachout to the sick to be the worship leader. He created us all for a purpose, for a ministry, and it is about time the church start listening to his calling instead of trying to figure it all out ourselves.

Before John and I were even married we were prophecied over and the man said that God was calling us for youth and young people. Well I wasn't really wanting to listen at that time. We then had 2 more people prophecy over us, reaffirming the first one. In total 3 prophecies of us being made for youth ministry. John and I have been serving within the church for over 6 years. We have worked with the youth for most of that time, either as the leaders and sometimes as just the helpers, as well as in other ministries within the church body. I know can say that youth is where God has for us to be. Right now our group is kinda small, but that does not mean it is not where God has called us. He has given us a love for the young people of this town. He has given us a desire to help them grow in their faith and in their relationship with Christ.

I pray that the whole body of Christ(us included) would listen to the Lord. That we would take joy in his presence and let His desires become ours! We need to be listening for His will, not let our fleshly desires dictact our path.

Thank You Platte Valley Christian Academy

I am thankful to the ministry of Platte Valley Christian Academy! I am seeing the fruit of their labor through my boys' prayer life! Alex is quick to ask for prayer if he is hurt, sick, or having a hard time. He will tell me that I need to pray when I am having a hard time. To think my 6 year old is quicker to bow his head and speak to our God than I am at times. And just the other day when Kennedy fell and hurt her leg, JJ goes "it's ok Mom, I prayed for her." I LOVE that they are learning that their first thought in time of need is to go to their Savior, not the last resort!! PVCA is a huge blessing in our lives!! I am so thankful to the teachers, aides, fellow board members, and parents of the school. I love this school!!