This past week I have felt sooo much better. I actually went all day yesterday without throwing up once. I did throw up this afternoon, but other than about 20-30 minutes around that time, I felt pretty good.

And with the repreve from morning sickness, I also seemed to have more energy. So I started cleaning my house with cleaning our red room. This is our family room, that really hasn't functioned as a family room in forever. It has been more like an extention of our laundry room. There is always a pile of dirty laundry in front of the laundry room door in the room and the couch is covered with clean clothes that have needed folded and put away, or is folded and in baskets but I didn't feel like putting them away, or clothes to be given away or stored away. And then there is a dresser that we took out of the bathroom, but never got it out of the house, just sit it in this room.

So I started on this room and cleared off every surface in the room, worked on the big pile of dirty laundry, cleared off the couch, put clothes away, took things out to the shed that needed stored, stuff to goodwill to get rid off, and cleared out the dresser(although it is still in there at the moment.) Then I sorted the kids' books and got them all on the bookcase, dusted the room, and vacuumed. It looked good.

Then I moved onto the girls room. It was horrible. Took out Kennedy's old crib that we never took down when she moved to the toddler bed and put that, the bassinet which was being stored in said crib, and clothes that Kennedy grew out of, out to the shed to be stored until we need them in the future. I went through all the girls toys and took 5, yes FIVE bags of toys to goodwill. I moved some of the furniture around with the help of Alex and put the room back together. It looks so much better!!

The next room I tackled was the boys' room. Oh my goodness!! It was horrible. It was practically 5-6 years accumillation of toys. So I spent most of the day in that room. From 9-3:30 with only short breaks. I was able to get rid of 6 bags of toys and 3 bags of trash from their room. I didn't make it to their dressers yet, because the rest of the room was so bad. So I will need to finish that tomorrow. But I am proud of what I did. There was points when I wanted to cry when I was in there. When I moved the mattress to JJ's bottom bunk, I was shocked at what I found under there. The whole floor under their bed was covered in toys, books, socks, dirty clothes, and trash except for about a 6 inch area right by the edge of their bed. You know, the part Mommy could see when I checked their room. And the bottom bunk is a full size, so it is a big space. Got a whole bag of trash just from under the bed alone.

Unfortunately the red room has kinda functioned as my holding place for stuff as I move things out of the rooms and is at the moment full of 8 bags of stuff to be taken to goodwill. Plus with focusing on the kids' rooms means I have kinda fallen down on keeping up with the laundry, so my pile is full again. And I have laundry baskets full of folded clothes needing to be put away, mostly in the boys' room but I need to clean out their dressers first and thin out the unwanted items.

So my goal for this week is to atleast do the boys dressers, redo the red room(luckily this should take as long as the first time, and clear off the dresser in the dining room that is piled high with junk. I am just happy to be about 15 bags freer of junk thinned out during my cleaning last week. I feel lighter!! lol

My house became a complete and udder disaster while I was battling morning sickness. Now it was perfectly clean and organized before, but at least I was in partial control of the chaos. But once I became overcome with all day sickness, any control was lost.

Any surface in my home is always a catch all. That is just how my family is. Which if I keep on top of them and the clutter, it isn't too bad, but let me tell you, I am afraid to look at the top of my tv stand and other surfaces at the moment. They are basically filled with those "where do I put this at" objects, which means I need to figure out if the items are needed and find a home for them if they are.

For the past 4 days I have felt much, MUCH better. If I feel sick at all it is kinda momentary and really has been more influenced by my sinus issues, then pregnancy. So I have been tackling the laundry. You would think it wouldn't take that long. Well trying to get all the clothes found from every possible spot in the house has been insane. THen there is the folding and putting away. And in the task of putting stuff away(the kids all put away theirs with the exception of Livie, although some are more closely supervised than others) I have realized that I haven't sorted out old clothes that don't fit or are not needed anymore. All the kids' drawers need cleaned out. Which means every drawer is overflowing and so this is a very urgent need.

And then I need to rearrange the girls room. It has needed it for a while. When we put Kennedy in her toddler bed, we didn't take the crib down since we weren't sure she would transition well(or that mommy would like her be able to get out). Well this makes it impossible to get to her dresser easily, which means she has been throwing clothes in a corner constantly.

The boys toys need gone through and about 2/3 of them gotten rid of. I have a closet that has toys that never get played with that needed cleaned out and I want to use it for items that need stored. My closet doors need fixed still. John fixed 2 and for some unknown reason didn't fix the others and so the closet is basically useless and has been for about 6 months because of the way the doors are. Therefore my room is horrible because stuff that needs put in the closet can't be because I can't get to it.

Today I did make a dent in the mess. I cleaned up the red room and got rid of 5 bags of clothes,  2 boxes of stuff, and stored some clothes. I cleaned out a dresser to get rid of that was placed there 6 months ago to be gotten rid of but never made it out of the house. Cleaned off the couch and folded and put away clothes. Also cleared off all the surfaces and dusted. I just need to vacuum it(it is right by the kids room and by the time I got it ready, tthe kids were in bed, and get the items taken to Goodwill or someplace else, and put up some pictures I have been wanting to put up for months. Then it will be able to be used again.

I am just tired of feeling like I start projects or chores and then get tired or discouraged and put it away half done. I want to get thing done and not look around with regrets or guilt all the time. Just need to stop making excuses and do things around the house more. I got plenty of time, if I keep off the tv and computer all the time. And I feel better seeing progress in projects and the house.

Splash Pad

This past week on John's days off we took the kids to the splash pad not once, but TWICE! Daddy decided after going last week that he would wear his suit and play with the kids. Mommy didn't want to get wet though and was enjoying reading a book and staying dry. Of course that was until JJ, Kennedy, and Livie decided they were cold and wanted Mommy to hold them.

The kids were all fighting over my lap. Livie was very upset that the others had the nerve to sit on my lap.

Daddy enjoyed playing with his Jet Plane.

 Kennedy was upset that Livie was taking up Mommy's lap.

 Livie thrilled that she ran off the other kids.

 Daddy playing with Alex.

 Everyone was tired of Ryan dumping water on them so he only could dump it on himself.

Cheesey smile!

What is happening to marriages and families? In the past month I have found out that a couple that I went to all through school with and who got married the day before John and I are currently seperated and are getting a divorce. I talked to a facebook friend who is more of an aquantance than a close friend who told me her husband asked her for a divorce(praise God, he did come back and is wanting to work it out for the time being). And then another former classmate decided not to marry her fiance because of what seems to be very good reasons.

Now in each case I don't know all the details, if I know any details about the reasons of the changes in the relationships. But still my heart is grieving. Not only for the couple and their children in the situation, but because of what is happening to families. I would like to say these 3 couples' decisions and problems are flukes and not the norm, but unfortunately that is not the case. Too often marriages, if the relationship makes it to marriage ends in divorce.

Now there of course are understandable, if not good reasons for divorce. Relationships with abuse(whether physical, sexual, or emotional), affairs, drugs, etc are good reasons to re-evalate the situation. But often I wonder how people come the decision to end their marriage.

All three of these relationships were happy 6 months ago from what I saw and heard them saying. But alot of things happen behind doors that people don't make public, and that is the stuff that makes or breaks a relationship.

Sometimes I think people let the little wears and tears of marriage, the occasional nasty attitudes, hurts, irritations, small fights, etc and just kinda let them go unresolved. And then after a while, those little things, cause a wall that slowly builds and builds until you come to a point where you no longer have small things you have huge issues and you no longer like each other and then it is just a matter of time before you decide that you want out.

I do not mean this post to come across as a bash on people who get divorced, totally not my intent. So if that is what you are getting from this I am sorry. I am just really sadden by how many couples are chosing divorce and the effects that has on all involved.

One of the those "what was I thinking" moments

So last night as I got up to go the bathroom for my 3 am trip,(seriously EVERY night for the past 2 months at 3 am) I had the thought "well maybe this will be the time of night the baby needs to feed and he/she is just preparing me." And then suddenly I had this panic of "I will be starting over with night time feedings....I hope this baby is a good sleeper like the rest of the kids.....Livie is at that point where she could be potty trained in the near future if I pushed it and now I will be starting ANOTHER kid in diapers."

I have to say I kinda freaked out for a minute. I mean, Livie is 2 and if we weren't having another baby we would be looking at a diaper free time probably in 6 months or so. She is becoming a big girl. Alex, JJ, and Kennedy will all be in school starting in the fall(albeit for different amounts of time but still) and I will only have Livie home for 3 mornings a week. We are right on the edge of a new phase of our lives(a baby free phase) IF we weren't having another one.

It made me really aware once again, that this baby is the last one. I am ready after this one to move on to the next part of our lives and focus on the raising our kids, doing all the school stuff with all the kids, etc and not just trying to survive the toddler years with a house still standing. I don't mean to make it sound like having babies and toddlers is horrible, because really I think I have some pretty awesome kids, but there are certain things that are harder to be able to do with a family our size with a baby, especially when John is at work. We were just getting out of that where I could take all the kids to places by myself and not have a baby to worry about while the kids ran free.

This baby is very loved and wanted, and it will complete our family nicely. Now that is not to say that we will not be foster parents again or will never adopt, we very well might or we might not. I don't know where God will lead us in that regard, but as far as expanding our family biologically, this is the last home-grown Schimek that will be made by John and me. lol

Not too much longer

School will be starting here in North Platte soon. Ryan starts back in a month and Alex, JJ, and Kennedy will start right after labor day. Yes that does mean I have a month and a half(give or take a few days) before I have 3 mornings a week with only 1 child, 2 mornings a week with only 2 children and until 3:30 with only 3, but still I am looking forward to it.

There is still things we are hoping to do this summer, such as going to Island Oasis(John went with Alex and JJ, but we haven't got to take all the kids yet), tie dyeing tshirts, picnics and such and I look forward to doing those things. But I am also looking forward to having a more quiet house and being able to try to get some organizing and cleaning done. Hopefully by the time school starts I will be feeling more human and less like a vomiting machine.

Here is the way I envision my days of fewer kids:

 BAKING!!!

I really do like to bake, but I don't do it very often. It always seems like I have other things to do or I don't really keep many baking supplies on hand. But I just recently recieved a friendship amish bread starter and I am so looking forward to being able make some. I found a website with 224 different recipes and they sound so yummy. I have had amish bread starters before and loved them, but got out of baking them. Hoping to keep with baking every 10 days and having fresh goodies for my family to enjoy.

LAUNDRY!!



Now this by I in no way mean I am so looking forward to doing laundry, but I am looking forward to having time without kids running around unfolding clothes and knowing over piles so I can get caught up and stay caught up. Maybe then I hate doing laundry so much.

Cleaning!!

Again, I don't mean I am looking forward to cleaning all day, everyday, but I am looking forward to not having kids running around and undoing everything faster than I can accomplish anything. Maybe then by the time the kids come home from school, the house will be in order and they can be more responsible for their stuff.

On Friday I had the huge blessing of being able to go with my friend to support her while she labored. This was her second baby and I was given the huge honor of being present for both births. It was an even bigger honor since both times only her husband and I were the ones present other than medical people.

Both times she was wise in taking someone other than her husband, because, bless his heart, he is not very functional while his wife is in pain. Luckily this time I had more of a heads up on this, so I was prepared more to help support her. Totally different experience this time than last time, because last time she went into labor in the middle of the night and we rushed down the interstate to a town 35 miles away while her and I were in the back seat and she was basically on top of me in horrific pain the whole ride. This time she was induced.

It was an extremely fast labor and delivery once the meds they gave her to be induced kicked in. Now I don't know if I agree with her doctor on the way he chose to induce her(according to what I read and now experienced with this type of induction, active labor is way faster and more intense than suggested and can cause ruptured uterus's, although praise God, this did not happen.) We went in to start the induction and at 8:30 they gave her the meds. She had very light, not even uncomfortable contractions until the meds kicked in at 1, right after they broke her water. She then went into active labor immediately and was in horrific pain. Contractions seemed on top of each other pretty much and 1 hour later she was complete. She then had to wait for the doctor to get ready(all while in horrendous pain and a little out of control because she was begging for pain meds and they said it was too late) then after 13 minutes of pushing she had her precious baby boy.

Now some people might think watching a baby be born is disgusting or an hard to look at the person after seeing that, but honestly I have found that during this time, it was not embarrassing to me or my friend to see this event. It was so cool to see her babies enter the world and was a blessing to be part of it.

And to be there while she was in horrible pain and be able to help her focus and encourage her through it all was such a joy. I totally know what she felt and knew that she could do it even when she wanted to give up. I think I would like to be a coach for women during labor and help them with the birth of their child.

Cloth diapers

So with this little one being my last baby, I decided I am going to go ahead and try cloth diapers. I have toyed with the idea with both the girls, but never bought any.

So today after talking to a friend on facebook and looking at diapers on ebay, I went ahead and place my first bid EVER on ebay and on the auction. I won 5 diapers of my choice. Well there is a challenge, because I have no clue what I am having. I feel like this is a boy, but who knows. So I went with neutral colors, kinda. I mean they look kinda boyish to me since I always pick very girly stuff for my girls, so anything non girly looks boyish to me.

So my plan is to get diapers off and on through the months to come so I have a good stock ready when the baby comes, but I will probably wait to bid on anymore until I find out if I am having a boy or girl. And I am also going to try and get educated on cloth diapers and how to launder them.

John isn't too thrilled by it, but I figure since we have gone through potty training with JJ which means I have had to deal with ALOT of poopy underwear and had to clean them out and wash them, so I figure this will be similar.

I am praying this is a good idea for our family and not a huge mistake. But hey Walmart always has disposables.

Our last one

In the past, everytime I heard a women say this was her last baby or she was not having anymore, I always thought "I could never imagine getting to the point when I didn't want another baby." I then had one of John's cousins tell me that when you know it is your last, you just know it. And then a woman from church told me she was the same way, until she held her last daughter and just knew she was done. But I still had doubts.

But I have to admit, they were right. This is my last baby! Unless we have some miracle baby, this little one growing inside my womb will be my last bio baby. We might adopt sometime, not thinking about it but there is always the possibility that is something God will lay on our hearts. But this baby will be the last one that John and I create.

I knew this from the moment I found out I was pregnant. It was just this feeling like our family is complete with this one. I always thought that I would be sad if I ever knew a baby was my last. You know, if for some medical reason I couldn't have another or John refused to have anymore. Like every milestone, I would sadly say "this is the last time I will hold my newborn, this is the last time I will nurse a baby, this is our last first birthday" etc. But instead I feel peace and happiness.

I feel like I am ready to have this baby in January and start a new phase in our life: a non pregnancy phase, then a no diaper phase(I know it will be years down the road, but hey I look forward to that time), all our kids in school phase, etc.

Even though I know we are still young, I just feel like we are moving to a new place in our life and marriage. I love that! I can't wait to meet this new little one in January and have all 5(plus our angel in heaven) of our precious gifts to watch grow. This is one of those times I am so overcome with praise for God blessing us so abundantly!! My life is simply......BLESSED!!!

Changes in the Schimek House

The other day John came to me and was telling me about a dream he had. He was walking through the house and could hear me and the kids yelling, pleading for help and he was trying to find us. But as he walked through our house all the radios were on, the tvs, the xbox, and his phone kept going off with letting him know he had text messages. His focus was diverated from finding us to all the noise and entertainment around him.

He said that he felt God was telling him that his focus has been on things other then his family, our life, and most importantly God. I totally agree. And it is not just him.

For a couple of years now John has teased me(and sometimes gotten really mad with me) because there are times I get so overwhelmed with all the noise in our house from all the electronics that I can't cope and I turn everything off. Seriously there are times the tv will be on(which it is most of the time it seems), the kids will be playing xbox with the noise going, fans will be going(ceiling fans, standing fans, fans from the stove and bathrooms), and John will be walking around playing music on his phone and I will just feel like all the noise is overwhelming. I just want quiet. Not like everyone has to leave, but I want quiet from all the electronics.

Plus I feel that because we spend so much time in front of the tv, we don't spend much quality time with the kids or each other, and that our house suffers because we never seem to have time to do anything.

So we decided to limit the tv and xbox time for the whole family, as well as John and I limiting our time playing on our phones and my time on the computer. We talked about it on Monday and started it on Tuesday. The kids are not enjoying it as well. Livie doesn't seem to mind and Kennedy and JJ are pretty good at entertaining themselves with toys so they don't complain too much. But Alex and Ryan are not liking it.

We have been letting them watch tv for a bit in the morning while we are still laying in bed, but I have been making them turn it off by 9:30 or 10 and then it hasn't been coming back on late afternoon or evening when I let them watch a couple 30 minute episodes of something or maybe a movie while I do baths and such. But really I have found I don't like it on. Even now while the kids are in bed, I started to watch something and then was like, "I don't even really want to watch this," and shut off the tv. I find that once I stepped away from watching stuff, even stuff I didn't really want to watch, just because it seemed the thing to do, I really don't want to watch anything as much.

And except for letting Ryan play xbox for about an half an hour yesterday after he came home from his visit and I was still wanting to nap for a bit longer, the xbox hasn't been on.

Ryan and Alex have been kinda busy this week too, with Ryan doing visits with his mom and Alex going places with John and my brother, so that has helped keep them busy somewhat. But when they are home they will ask throughout the day, or complain cause there is nothing to do. But hey, I can remember going to my great grandmas and not having any channels to watch and only a few movies and we played games and did things to keep busy. That's why I love to do crafts, cause I started then so I stayed busy. They will just have to find stuff to do! Cause Mama loves not having the tv on all the time!!!

Morning sicknes blows chunks!!!

I have been feeling pretty sick this pregnancy. I remember being sick with the boys but I don't remember being this sick. And I wake up feeling sick and it just gets worst as the day goes on. Since the morning sickness, ok more like all day sickness, started I have been miserable most afternoons and evenings. The mornings actually are the better part of the day for me.

This picture shows how I feel a good amount of time of my days is spent.

I don't feel like doing much and feel totally useless most days around the house. The kids seem to notice my feeling cruddy and take advantage of it. They try to get away with more than usual.

I am so ready for the morning sickness portion of my pregnancy to be over!!