New floors

We had a friend, Eric Sandoval, come over on Saturday to pull out the carpet and sub floors in our main bathroom and framing it properly, putting down new subfloors, underlayment, and tile. The plan was to have the floors pulled up, new ones down, and tile down on Saturday, and then grouting and doing the baseboard, etc yesterday. Well that is all in a perfect world. Of course we found under the boards that the framing was more than we thought, there was a crack that needed fixed, and something with the toilet needed fixed.

With an extra trip needed to go to Menards to pick up supplies, that put us behind. Then having to do some extra framing and waiting for the guy to drop off the tile cutter, we didn't even get the tile layed on Saturday. So our friend came over yesterday to start it. His friend came back over to do the plumbing.

Our friend was great though, because even though the pattern I decided was a little more time intensive then just laying 12x12 tiles. But with the plumbing being done yesterday and the fact that we ran out of some tile(I thought with 3 boxed we would have enough) the tile is mostly layed but there is a small area still needing done and so tonight Eric will come over to finish laying the tile, grout what was done yesterday and set our toilet. He will have to finish grouting the rest tomorrow and put up the baseboards, hang the door, and any addition stuff. I am so excited to have our bathroom back and be able to take a bath again!!

Actually isn't that bad!

Today I painted the back bathroom(love having the yellow and red gone!!) and I am thinking I messed up my sense of smell for a while. I keep smelling the scent of a newborn breastfeed baby's poopy diaper. Now I know that sounds disgusting but I can honestly tell you after having 4 breastfeed babies, the smell of a BREASTFEED newborn baby diaper actually doesn't smell bad. It kinda has a yeasty smell to me, which I always thought was one of the benifits of breastfeeding vs formula feeding, because formula feed poopy diapers are HORRIBLE!!

So that is a look into my wierd brain for the day. lol

Why do I even bother?

I am seriously wondering why I even bother cleaning my house. It seems like whatever area I end up cleaning I find dirty within 10 minutes and if I start to make a dent in the laundry then I go into rooms and find a bunch more clothes. My house is seriously a mess right now, and I have washed dishes twice today, picked up the living room, kitchen, vacuumed the floor in the red room(cant do the rest of the house cause John is sleeping and it would wake him up), used a pumis bar on a toilet with this gray funky stuff in it(don't even want to know what it was, but know the boys have been "forgetting" to flush that toilet), folded some clothes and put away 2 baskets full, had the kids pick up their rooms, and picked up clothes in the bathroom. Yet there is stuff all over the living room again, I have a HUGE pile of laundry to fold and put away, there is more dishes to wash, 2 bathrooms to finish cleaning, the kids rooms are more by their standards than mine, floors to vacuum, etc. I feel like even though I have been busy for a couple hours doing stuff, it isn't even apparent when there are 5 kids in the house.

As long as your happy!

The other day as I sit in the counseling office chatting with Ryan and his mom, waiting for them to go back for their visit, Ryan was telling his mom about how he was going to be in a musical at school and had gotten the part of the prince in Rapenzel. He said he had signed up for Rapenzel as a joke. His mom said that they should have given him it and made the comment "It doesn't matter as long as your happy." This kinda struck a nerve in me.

I know she didn't mean anything by it but good things, but honestly this is what is wrong with the world today. We live on the assumtion that we can do whatever we want to make us happy and that we have some God given right to always be happy. God doesn't promise we will always be happy. That life will always be easy.

I mean honestly I sit there thinking about how Ryan's mom has made alot of choices in her life that made her happy and I wanted to ask her, "so what your choices did to your life and your kids' lives doesn't matter, because you did all this to make you happy?"

What about all those people who prey on children? It makes them happy, so is that ok? What about all those people who drink and drive? Is it ok as long as they are happy?

I know this is just a phrase and with common sense we can distiguish between ok things to do that make you happy and what is not ok, but honestly if we look at the world today we can see that this mindset is more than a phrase today. It is becoming the theme of so many of our lives.

Being happy is great, I don't like to be in a crusty mood. But I honestly think we need to start being content and happy in what God has abundantly blessed each of us with instead of running after this vision of what our lives is lacking that will make us happy.

I am so proud!!

Well today I am feeling like crap. I have a cold that I am trying to get over. Anyway I still had 2 great moments today.

First today as I was taking Ryan back to school after his counseling appointment, he blew me away with his thoughts. Often he is not totally aware of how things affect the other kids, but today I was so proud of him. Our uncle has sent Ryan birthday presents and Christmas presents and since he opened them on different days, the kids(the boys especially) were upset because he got so many more presents. They were upset because he got presents from us(same amount as them), all our kids' grandparents(same amount as them), and then presents from his mom and my uncle. Now I understand that getting more presents doesn't make up for the fact that he is away from his mom right now, but trying to explain to kids 7 and 5 years olds that they might have less presents, but they have Mommy and Dadddy here everyday doesn't really work.

Anyway so Ryan said something about needing write our uncle a thank you card. (I think his mom mentioned this) and he goes "I think I am going to write him that next year he should buy all the kids presents so they don't feel bad." I was so proud of him!!

And then Kennedy was going to lay down for a nap and she goes "wait I have to go potty" and she went in and POOPED on the potty. I was so proud. No prodding, no asking, just up and went POOP on the potty. It was awesome!!

A little over a week and a half ago I decided that is was time to potty train Kennedy for the 3rd time hoping this time it takes. She did really good the first day so I decided the second to put her into panties. She has been doing great. She has yet to poop on the potty, so she has had a few poopy accidents but she has only had 2 peeing accidents and that was when she stayed home with Daddy and he was asking if she had to pee instead of telling her to go. But she is even now going on her own without being told.

Livie has been showing interest in the little potty we have and sitting on it with her diaper on. Thursday I decided to put her on the little potty with no diaper before helping Kennedy and she went. And she went 2 more times that day. Since that day she has gone pee on the little potty at least 3 times each day. She hasn't gone on anyother potties yet, but hey my 18 month going pee on the potty 3 times a day I am thrilled with.

It would be awesome to get both girls potty trained and be completely done with diapers!

If part of it isn't truth, what about the rest?

I was having a conversation today and the conversation turned to about how people used to live to be over 800 years. This other person's view on this is that they must have counted time differently, having more years within our time frame of a year. I pointed out that they probably went by seasons like we do.

So I got to thinking more about this. Here is my big thing, if they did count time differently(which I don't believe that is the reason for the longer lifetimes) then they would have started with having like 8 "years" within one of our years to account for a 800 year old and that is people lived to be a 100 of our years. But this doesn't make since because then an one year old would be viewed as an eight year old in their time. And it even says that when Sarah and Abram had their promised son they were like in their 90's and she was past child bearing years. So that would mean that if we were going with the theory 8 of their years makes up one of our years, then they would be about 11 in our time, and 11 years olds aren't even into child bearing years.

So I have to agree to disagree on this part. I am sorry but I believe that they really did live way longer in the beginning of the world even if they did have somewhat of a different way to measure time.

But in further thinking about this I realized that we often try to put God and His word into terms that we humans can grasp. We try to explain His word in scientific language and often when not being able to mesh the 2 together, we say that obviously that means that part of the Bible is untrue. Here is the danger in that, if we are willing to disregard parts of God's word, which is supposed to be truth, then we are saying parts of God's truth is untrue, so then we are more likely to question the rest.

My opinion- God's word is truth! All of it, even the parts that to my stupid human mind seems impossible. Through God all things are possible. We are willing to believe in all kids of lies that the world tells us, but not willing to believe the truth of God's word. Goes to further prove my thought on satan: Satan doesn't care what you believe in, as long as you don't believe God's word and His promise of salvation through the sacrafice of Christ.

If we are not showing the love of God, what are we showing?

Tonight the regular Wednesday services started back up and so youth group started back up. John wasn't feeling good, so I told him I would take the kids and do youth group. So with less than 4 hours I had to still do all my normal Wednesday stuff: pick up kids, dinner, getting kids ready, etc AND come up with something to do for youth. Yep that is me being supermom again.

Anyway so I go to church with all 5 kids by myself and trying to handle youth when I have no desire to even be there yet alone trying to teach the kids something. And of course I am not really in the groove of it, the youth kids are not really wanting to do a lesson, so we get through it and then pull out a game to just enjoy some chatting time.

In the time of being there I had quite a few people asking me the question "How are you doing?" and instead of the normal, expected answer "fine" my response was to everyone one of them along the lines of "it has been a really long month." You would think they would call for a question of what is going on, a little show of concern, something. Nothing from almost everyone of them. I did have one woman say she had been praying for us and that it was a hard thing to have another child in our home. But the rest I honestly don't think they even cared.

How sad is that? In the house of God, in the company of my church family, there seems to be no concern for a fellow child of God when they are going through a hard time. We, as children of God are suppose to be showing the love of Christ, the compassion of Christ, and I got blank stares and uneasy responses.

This is not a normal case of our child is acting up. This is a foster child that has an emotional detachment disorder. He isn't just a child who is trying to get attention, or being snotty just because, he has had a hard life, been left and shipped off to multiple homes, seen drug use and stuff he never should, he was obviously not nutured in a normal way the first 4 years of life, which is the most important developement time in a child's life. Most kids in the foster system have issues with this and it takes alot of time, energy, and dedication to help heal this. We can't and won't just send him back like he is a puppy who we don't want to put the effort into potty training him.

I would just like those around us to realize that he is a precious son of God, he deserves love, no we are not going to neglect our children just because we are putting forth the effort to care and love him, that we need a listening ear, not judgement or "helpful" negative advice, don't minimilize the problems as "every kid acts like that from time to time", and also understanding that we can't be or do everything we did before because right now our family is what we need to focus on.

I have found my joy!!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ~James 1:2-3

You know when I have read this in the past my first thought was "finding pure joy in trials, not likely" but as I opened my devotion book last night and read the entry and saw this verse as one of the book's key verses for the day, I finally truly understood.

It isn't meaning take joy in the pain of the trial, but to take joy in the comfort you find in the Lord during those times. With the Lord the impossibilities of any trial becomes possible. If we focus not on the hardness of the time, but on the peace and comfort that the Lord provides in those times, then we can feel joy.

Just think about when you were a child and were hurt and you found comfort in the loving arms of your mother. No matter what was happening, no matter how much you hurt, feeling you mother's arms around you, feeling her loving kiss on your forehead, you felt safe and completely loved. You knew you were not alone in your pain because you mother was hurting for you and TOGETHER you will get through it.

Now maybe some of you that never felt this as a child, maybe you had a hard childhood and your mother wasn't the one you found comfort in, but as a mother you can understand the true love of a mother's heart, and in this knowledge it is easier to grasp the depth of God's love for us, because there it no one in this whole world that has, does, or will love you more than God. No matter how much I love my precious children, God loves them infinately more than I even have the compacity to love them. So if I as a mother hurt when my children hurts and they can find refuge in my arms, how much more sufficient is the safety and comfort that I, in this time of trials and uncertainity, can find in the arms of Christ.

So no, I don't take joy IN the trial I am in, I take joy in the comfort that I find in my Heavenly Father's arms during this time. Because with His help, I WILL get through this and my dependance on Him will cause my faith to grow more than I ever imagined. And in that I find my joy! God is my joy!!

7 years ago

Seven years ago today, I was 38 weeks pregnant expecting our oldest son Alex. I was so excited about the upcoming birth of our little baby boy, I just couldn't wait. I had taken castor oil at 2 in the afternoon, hoping that it would start labor. Little did I know that within 24 hours our little miracle would enter the world.

Looking back I am amazed at all that I have experience in the 7 years since becoming a mother for the first time. I have successfully breastfeed 4 babies for at least 15 months each. I have changed more diapers that I car to remember, I have recieved so many hugs and kisses, wiped tears from my babies eyes, kissed booboos, cleaned up vomit, smelled the sweet scent of a sleeping child's head, experienced first days of school, shared in the joy of birthdays, the sadness of a child's broken heart for a loss toy, so many joys and tears since becoming a mother.

All I can say is that I praise God for the precious gifts of my children that He has entrusted us with. He has blessed us more than I could ever imagined. He has given us 4 amazing children of our own, 1 precious angel in heaven, and 1 endearing foster child. I never imagined that 14 years ago when John and I started "going out" that we would be so blessed after 9 1/2 years of marriage.

Choose your words wisely

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  ~Luke 6:45

This is truly the truth of God. We see this everyday in the world we live. If a person's heart and mind is preoccupied with lust, that is what consumes his words. If money rules his heart, then he talks about money. If their heart is full of discord and hatred, then they will spread discord and hate through their words.

People are very good at covering up what truly runs them at times, but it only takes time and a discerning heart to see what people's mind and heart are full of. They might be able to cover up their true view, but sooner or later, they will show what truly is in their hearts.

So a prayer I have for this new year is that I would take note of the words I use and when examine what is truly in my heart in this season of my life. I want God to take all the junk that is stored up in my heart and cleanse me of the negative thoughts, the fast complaints, and that I would become content to wait in the Lord and find strenght in His loving arms in my time of weakness.

I was just reading news stories on Foxnews.com and was shocked by a story.(ok, many of the stories shock me on there, but this one was kinda crazy) A woman on there admitted to throwing out the body of her daughter who was 5 when she died 6 years ago. The mom had for 6 years giving different excuses as to where the little girl was. The story went on to state that the mother had said the little girl died after a bookcase fell on her.

So here is my question, if it was a simple accident why hide the body for 6 years? Why after hiding the body for 6 years, do you just one day think, well today I am going to throw her away like garbage? Why were family members not more concerned when the little girl was missing a month, let alone 6 years?

I dont understand how some mothers can carry a child for 9 months under their heart, give birth to the baby and then harm it and never love it with a true mother's love. To just view that child as a possesion or worst yet a piece of trash to be thrown out. The heart of a mother and father seems to be lacking in so many of the news stories today. Senseless crimes and horrors inflicted on children, often by the very people who should be protecting them from harm.

There are so many children at this very moment that are in homes where drugs, money, sex, alcohol, work, THE WORLD, means more than the children. Homes where the children will go to bed tonight not even knowing the peace of a quiet, SAFE nights sleep. Where the children are wondering if tonight they will be pulled out of their beds and beaten, assualted, harmed in some way. What a sad life for a child! I just pray that somehow, someway they come to know that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them completely. That they are a treasure and a blessing. That they are sons and daughters of the King of kings and they are NEVER alone or forgotten!!