With my induction date approaching in 11 days and having spent last night in the hospital with possible labor, I have been thinking about what I would like my labor and delivery to be like. With all the kids but Kennedy, I had people in the room with me while I was laboring and then at delivery. With Kennedy it was only John and me, not because we planned it that way, it was because my mil was getting off work at noon and missed it and my mom was in the waiting room and I was at 5 for a while and then went from 5-10 in an instant and John was lucky to even get into the room in time because he had stepped out to talk to a friend.

Now I really don't mind having my mother and mil in the delivery room while I deliver, but I think I would really prefer to have no one in the room with me and John while I labor. When I am in pain, I like to draw into myself and prefer to not have people touch or talk to me. When people are in the room with me, I feel I have to entertain them and end up resenting that they are there and feel I can't show my pain.

So my desire would be for everyone to stay in the waiting room until I am ready to push. Now this is a really risky move, because honestly as fast as I pushed Kennedy out and how Live pretty much shot out on her own, I am worried they would miss it. But I really would like to make my labor room as stressfree as possible. I got really, REALLY stressed by guests while I was in labor with Livie and it affect my delivery and me afterwards. And I am really afraid of having unwanted guest again this time during the process.

I just want to enjoy my last labor and delivery and not feel that it is for others. I kinda feel like some people who just got to the hospital and never tell people they are there have the right idea. Then they are able to do things at their pace and without an audience.

While we were on vacation visiting my brother in October, I was on facebook and noticed I was added by a friend to a crafting page on facebook. It is a page where the point is that crafters get together and give each other ideas for crafts, although the main thing that was on the page was about these Christmas baskets they were wanting to put together. The head of the page had a list of kids whose parents had signed them up to recieve homemade items from these group to give them a little more under the Christmas tree.

So I said I was interested in helping. With it being the very end of October it only gave me 6 weeks to get some crafts done, but main did I come through. When we showed up to put the baskets together I was shocked to find out that even though I was the last one to join the group, I had contributed the most homemade items, except for the woman who made little Christmas ornaments. Now I have to admit that some of the items I was not overly impressed with, but that goes to show that everyone has their own taste and abilities.

I would love to add a picture of some of the projects I donated because I am very proud of them, but unfortuanately for some reason, blogger isn't allowing me to add pictures. One of the main items they wanted help making was rag dolls, which I had never made before. Their goal was to make 19 of them. Since I only had a little bit of time I wanted to make them as simple as possible, so I made ones that body was a triangle shape to be the dress and the legs were out of fabric to coordinate with the body to be stockings. I ended up finishing 9 and was willing to make more, but was told to wait to see if others made any. Mine were the only rag dolls that were donated. I also made 5 stuffed robots. Again first time I had made these, but I loved them and want to make more to give away. I got the idea from another blogger and thought they were super cute.

The thing that I got most addicted to was these fast crocheted stocking caps that I found the pattern for. They were pretty fast to make and I ended up making 20 to donate in various colors. I loved seeing all the different color combinations I could come up with. I even made one for each of my kids. And in addition to that I made 5 door hangers for boys' rooms with their name on them.

I was so proud to bring my stash of donations and the fact that with only 6 weeks to create, that I had a good amount to donate. We are planning on doing the baskets next year and I already have gotten a head start. I hope that we make it a better organized project since this year was kinda our practice year.

I also would like to maybe make projects to donate to other organizations that can use them. I love making the hats and am sure that I could get pretty crazy with it and end up with way more hats than we would need, so I will probably find another group that could also benefit.

I have so many craft ideas running through my heads and I love creating, but I find that items at craft shows just don't sell like they have in the past. I don't even like to buy items at craft shows usually because I know I can make it for less. So I love the itea of having somplace to donate the items I enjoy making. I am going to have fun with this!!

Happy Birthday Alex

Today 8 years ago, I became a mother for the first time. We welcomed our oldest son Alexander Michael into the world. He was such a blessing after all we went through with the loss of Jacob. In no way did we view Alex as a replacement for Jacob, but as a blessing to help heal our pain.

These past 8 years not only has Alex grew, but John and I have grown as people and parents. Alex has pushed us and stretched us in ways we never expected.

So today started off with our special family breakfast that has become a family tradition. However's birthday it is gets to choose what we have for breakfast. Alex chose pancakes with blueberry syrup, fried eggs, and bacon with hot cocoa. It was very yummy.

We then took the kids sledding for the first time ever as a family. It is one of those things we always wanted to do, but never did. Last year we bought a sled, but we never got enough snow to go. We all had so much fun going today. Well except for Livie, who did not want to go sledding, so she just walked around at the top of the hill and helped push people.

I even when about 10 times with various kids. Bet there isn't many 37 week pregnant women who go sledding. I haven't gone sledding down a hill like that in years, if ever. My dad used to pull a car hood behind a tractor when we were little, but I don't remember ever going sledding down a hill. Definately will have to go again!

Now we are preparing to enjoy a birthday dinner of steak and potatoes and black forest cake. It should be yummy. I would have posted pictures from today, but for some reason I can't post pictures right now. Not sure what the issue is.

The date is set!!

So my induction date for Emmalee's birth has been set. I know there are some out there who feel that inducing is just wrong or you should just wait. Honestly this is the first one that we have scheduled in advance, although both Kennedy and Livie were also induced. But with them I went in to the doctor the day before I turned 39 weeks and asked if the doctor would induce me the next day and they agreed.

This time I thought I would take a stab since I was seeing my favorite doctor and ask if he was on call on the 18th and if he would be willing to induce me that day. He checked and said he was and would get me on the list. He called right over to the hospital while in the room with me and got me on. He delivered both the boys and now he will be delivering our last.

We chose the 18th mainly for 2 reasons. First it is my father-in-law's birthday and it seems cool that with this being his last grandbaby, that she would be born on his birthday. Alex actually was due on his birthday and now Emmalee and Bob will share a birthday. Now that is considering that she doesn't decide to come early or that all the rooms on the maternity ward are full. If they are then I can't be induced on that day.

The second reason we wanted the 18th is that it is a Friday and with 3 kids having school, it seemed like it would be easier to only have to figure out how to get them to school 1 day. I still am not entirely sure what we are going to do with them. I am not sure if they will stay with grandparents on Thursday night or if I will head to the hospital att 6 in the morning and John will stay home and get the kids to school and drop off Livie at someone's house before heading up. I mean either would probably work. I would prefer to not have to worry about them Friday morning, but honestly although I show up at 6 in the morning, after getting checked in and everything, the doctor usually doesn't break my water until around 7 when he does his rounds before going to the office. And I highly doubt I will give birth within an hour and a half. Although it would be nice to have John there just incase contractions pick up fast with the pitocin and breaking of my water.

Now with the date set for Emmalee's birth I am trying to get everything ready for her arrival. I haven't been getting much done to prepare so the last part of last week I started. I have since recovered Emmalee's car seat, made her a carseat canopy, car seat snugglie, and finished her quilt front. Yesterday I started cleaning and organizing her room. I hope to work on that more today.

I am also wondering how different this experience might be then when I had the last 3 kids. With JJ, Kennedy, and Livie's pregnancies I hadn't stopped nursing the child before them until part way through my pregnancy. But I had a break between Livie being weaned and getting pregnant with Emmalee. So I am wondering if I will get all big and such when my milk comes in again like when I had Alex. With the other kids it didn't really ever happen, cause my milk never fully dried up.

Also I am wondering how it will be to have a child in the middle of a school year and having to basically jump right back into the swing of life after having Emmalee. With all the kids we got out of the hospital the day after having them, which I liked, but then we had to get the other kids right away. I never really got any time to settle in before being having all the other kids to take care of. That is not to say John didn't help, but it was different then I think some women exprience. They might have someone come stay, which I DO NOT WANT, but I would like to have maybe a couple hours or so before going right back into life fully.

And then there is the hustle and bustle of getting kids to school the following Tuesday, John will probably do Monday since he will be off Sunday night. And all my duties to do at the school to get ready for school board meetings and such. Will I be given some grace in that? I am sure I will by the other board members, but will I be easy on myself? Or will I expect myself to do it all?

Please be praying for me and my upcoming delivary day.

My vision of where I would be

I have not posted in quite a while. Life has been crazy with the holidays and all that goes into preparing for them. I have had many different post ideas run through my head, but never felt motivated when I was actually on the computer. But I had to stop and post this.

Today I decided today to try and sort through the mess that is to be Emmalee's room. It is not often we have a spare room in our house with no person residing in it, so I have used it to put crafts and such in when I am in a rush and dont want to put them fully away. Therefore this is a huge project. Not to mention I was pretty sure that somewhere in the hole of a closet I was pretty sure that all my newborn girl clothes was hiding. Now everytime I go through deep cleaning the room, I make sure to put everything in neatly and organize everything in the closet, but since Ryan was the last on to use the room and between him trying to hide stuff in there and me trying to get stuff out from time to time it was a mess.

Well while I was cleaning out the closet I came across the packet of english assignments that they gave me the last week of my senior year in high school. This packet had a variety of assignments dating back to 3rd grade. Now I don't know if every school system does this, but I love that my school did!!

So as I was looking through it I came across an essay that I am sure you all did in high school. One about where I thought I would be in 10 years. Boy how different my vision of where I would be is from my life now.

Now I say that not to say I am disappointed in my life at all. I just find it funny how our visions don't take in to account God's will for our lives or how our choices really do impact our lives.

I thought for sure John and I would be married, so I was totally right on that one. But I figured I would have gone to college and become a doctor or nurse, and maybe have a child or 2 by now. Now that is where I was way wrong.

I did go to some college but not for being a doctor or nurse. And I can say I am honestly greatful that I didn't. I think if I had gone through all that schooling, I would feel obligated to work and allow someone else to raise my children. I wouldn't feel that I had the option to stay at home with my children. And I definately never thought by this time I would have almost 5 children and our angel in heaven.

Now I sit there in Emmalee's room and thought about how different my life had been if I had made different choices. Every choice we make effects our lives, either in a big way or a small way. Say John and I had gone to college and held off on getting married, would have we stayed together? Would have we decided to have a large family? Would we still be in North Platte?

I don't know, but I can tell you that I praise God for my life! I love my husband, our kids, and our life. It is not always easy or perfect, but it is a good life. I enjoy it greatly. I don't need to have one of those tv show experiences where you go through experiencing your alternative life to appreciate that one you have, I appreciate mine because it is mine. Because through the grace of God, John and I have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. Getting married at the age of 17 almost 18 and 20, we could have easily messed it all up and got a divorce. I am not even sure when we got married if we had any clue of marriage is really like. I know we didn't have a rose colored vision of it, but I don't know if we really understood the reality of it. But we were and still are both committed to our family and each other.

So I sit here thinking about how greatful I am that my essay didn't come true. I wouldn't want my life any different. Well I would like to have a maid, but I think every woman would like one of those. lol

Ever wonder what you would do if you couldnt use your kitchen sink for 5 days? Well I have found out. My sink started having issues with draining on Friday. Pretty sure draining the grease off the hamburger I was browning for our school fundraiser into the sink is what messed it up. Draining grease off a lbs here and there isn't such a big deal, but putting grease from 30 lbs of hamburger down it apparently wasn't a good idea.

So we tried draino to try and get it taken care of, along with pouring tons of boiling water down it. It helped some. Made it where I could do a few dishes, but had to wait FOREVER for the water to drain. So then I tried my brother's suggestion of trying to work it out with my toilet plunger. Well that did not work. In fact it made it worst.

So to get the majority of my dishes done in the first few days, and then all of them yesterday, I had to wash dishes in the bathtub. It made me really appreciate having a double sink to have dish water in one side and be able to rinse dishes in the other side. You can't do that when you are washing in the bathtub.

Another issue with washing dishes is that you have to be down on the floor. And when you are 34 weeks pregnant with hips and a back that are killing you this is torture!! So yesterday we decided after trying everything we could think of, to call a plumber. The guy came out and was able to unclog it with a snake. It was full of black, nasty stuff that was from years of soap scum build up and food particles from our garbage disposal.

This morning when I washed dishes in my very own kitchen sink I was so thankful to be able to do so. I never knew I would miss being able to wash dishes in my sink. lol

Well I haven't blogged in a while. I had every intention of doing the days of thanksgiving but alas I fell down on that goal. Oh well guess there is always next year.

The past couple weeks has been crazy. 2 weeks ago on Monday I started to come down with a cold. I didn't think too much of it, but by Thursday I was miserable. Don't remember a cold ever kicking my butt that hard. I think it had alot to do with the fact that I am pregnant and that I wasn't getting much help around home and was still trying to do it all because it all had to be done. Luckily John finally realized that I was really sick and took of Sunday and I was able to just lay around. The rest seemed to help because Monday I felt so much better. Was still weak but made it through the day.

JJ also got sick on Sunday and Monday, so we were sick buddies for a bit. Luckily he was able to go back to school on Wednesday(wasn't fever free for 24 on Tuesday so decided to keep him home to rest another day.) He acts like he is having some lingering sinus problems still though. I also have sinus issues still going on, so prayers would be appreciated.

This week involved getting all our ingrediants ordered for the huge burrito/enchilada making day yesterday. Also Alex, JJ, and Kennedy had their school Christmas program on Thursday. They all did very well and looked so cute in their new Christmas clothes. Unfortunately Livie refused to let us get a good picture of them all so we will try again at their church Christmas program.

Yesterday was the day of making breakfast burritos and beef enchiladas. Since I was the coordinator, it meant I was the first to show up and last to leave. Showed up right before 9am and left at 6pm. We ended up selling 127 dozen and ended up making 144 dozen and still had ingrediants left over. We had a bunch of hamburger and cheese which we froze, about 90 lbs of pototes which we are going to sell, and cheese sauce which we are taking back left. I am not sure of the exact amount that we made of this one day of hard work but I believe it will be between $1400-1500 for the school. This is awesome because our goal for a fundraiser to be one of our top 5 of the year is $1000 and this is our first year of really trying this one. Last time we did it on a very small scale and didn't sell much.

Of course being on my feet almost constantly for 9 hours, walking around and lifting stuff while 33 weeks pregnant left me in horrendous pain!! I would have never believed it would have affected me this much. My whole body hurts!! My shins, ankles, and calfs feel like they are being poked with needles, my wrist and shoulders are really sore, my back is stiff and killing me, and my hip joints can barely move and hurt horribly bad. Everytime I get up from sitting, I am stiff and sore and can barely move at all. Praying this goes away fast!!

So there is an update in my last couple of weeks.