My vision of where I would be

I have not posted in quite a while. Life has been crazy with the holidays and all that goes into preparing for them. I have had many different post ideas run through my head, but never felt motivated when I was actually on the computer. But I had to stop and post this.

Today I decided today to try and sort through the mess that is to be Emmalee's room. It is not often we have a spare room in our house with no person residing in it, so I have used it to put crafts and such in when I am in a rush and dont want to put them fully away. Therefore this is a huge project. Not to mention I was pretty sure that somewhere in the hole of a closet I was pretty sure that all my newborn girl clothes was hiding. Now everytime I go through deep cleaning the room, I make sure to put everything in neatly and organize everything in the closet, but since Ryan was the last on to use the room and between him trying to hide stuff in there and me trying to get stuff out from time to time it was a mess.

Well while I was cleaning out the closet I came across the packet of english assignments that they gave me the last week of my senior year in high school. This packet had a variety of assignments dating back to 3rd grade. Now I don't know if every school system does this, but I love that my school did!!

So as I was looking through it I came across an essay that I am sure you all did in high school. One about where I thought I would be in 10 years. Boy how different my vision of where I would be is from my life now.

Now I say that not to say I am disappointed in my life at all. I just find it funny how our visions don't take in to account God's will for our lives or how our choices really do impact our lives.

I thought for sure John and I would be married, so I was totally right on that one. But I figured I would have gone to college and become a doctor or nurse, and maybe have a child or 2 by now. Now that is where I was way wrong.

I did go to some college but not for being a doctor or nurse. And I can say I am honestly greatful that I didn't. I think if I had gone through all that schooling, I would feel obligated to work and allow someone else to raise my children. I wouldn't feel that I had the option to stay at home with my children. And I definately never thought by this time I would have almost 5 children and our angel in heaven.

Now I sit there in Emmalee's room and thought about how different my life had been if I had made different choices. Every choice we make effects our lives, either in a big way or a small way. Say John and I had gone to college and held off on getting married, would have we stayed together? Would have we decided to have a large family? Would we still be in North Platte?

I don't know, but I can tell you that I praise God for my life! I love my husband, our kids, and our life. It is not always easy or perfect, but it is a good life. I enjoy it greatly. I don't need to have one of those tv show experiences where you go through experiencing your alternative life to appreciate that one you have, I appreciate mine because it is mine. Because through the grace of God, John and I have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. Getting married at the age of 17 almost 18 and 20, we could have easily messed it all up and got a divorce. I am not even sure when we got married if we had any clue of marriage is really like. I know we didn't have a rose colored vision of it, but I don't know if we really understood the reality of it. But we were and still are both committed to our family and each other.

So I sit here thinking about how greatful I am that my essay didn't come true. I wouldn't want my life any different. Well I would like to have a maid, but I think every woman would like one of those. lol