Finally!!!

So I realized that with being without my computer, I hadn't posted what the gender of the baby is. But I now have my computer back(that's right, I am whole again!!) so I decided to do that. But I am not going to just launch into it, I will lead up too it. Bear with me, I haven't been able to blog for a while. So I am going to tell you the story behind our children's names and lead up to the baby info.

Jacob Robert- When I was in younger, I went to school with a boy named Robert Jacob, but he went by Jake. I loved the way it sounded especially since 2 of my grandpas' names are Robert, but I preferred to switch the order of the name. So when we were picking names for our little boy who went to heaven before we were able to see his precious face, we thought of many names but none could compare with Jacob Robert, especially since Robert is also John's dad's name, so Jacob is named after 3 grandpas.

 

Alexander Michael- John is actually the one who picked out Alexander.     It is the main character of one of John's favorite movie "The Time Machine." I personally do not like the movie, but I really liked the name. Michael is John's middle name. And let me tell you Alex lives up to his name!! Alexander means defender of mankind and Alex is very much like his daddy! He takes pride in protecting his siblings and those that he cares for. He feels for those in pain and worries about things that most second graders don't. He truly has a tender spirit just like John!

 

Jeremiah James- JJ is the only child that is technically not named after someone in our family. Jeremiah is just a name John and I really, REALLY liked and James went with it really well. It wasn't until after we named him that I realized why we liked Jeremiah so much. On Jacob's tombstone we chose part of the verse Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you" to be on it. We loved the reminder that even though we never got to know Jacob in the way that most parents know there children, that God knew him and chose us to blessed with being his parents. So in a way, JJ is named after his biggest brother and is a constant reminder that God knows us in a very intimate way before we were ever created.

Kennedy Jean Elizabeth- I am not ashamed to admit that I stoled the name Kennedy from another mom. Now she had picked this name for a child that was born years before Kennedy was born and turned out he was a boy and so I didn't want this beautiful name to go unused, so I HAD to use it. lol. And then it turns out that my great, great grandma's middle name on my dad's side was Kenneda, so I guess it was a good choice. Jean is my middle name and my mom's middle name and I hope that Kennedy passes it on to her first baby girl also. Elizabeth is just a name we always loved and so we picked it.

Olivia Clara Paige- Olivia is just a name that John and I really liked. Love the nickname Livie also, so it was a great choice! Clara is after John's grandma on his dad's side. He has some great memories of her and misses her alot. Paige again is a name that we really liked. Of course John's mom says that since it is a alternative form of her name Patricia, that technically Livie is named after her. There is no harm letting her hold on to that arguement. lol

 

So finally the big reveal of the baby's name. It was quite strange in the way the name came about. Usually when we are picking names we have a list of names that we really like and we have a hard time deciding which on to pick. But with this baby, we had names that we liked but none that jumped out at us. John and I had quite a few conversations about names and never really had the long list of ones that we were choosing between. There was a boy name and a girl name that we both liked and it just seemed like no matter how many different names we discussed we just kept coming back to those 2 names. It was kinda like the names were already decided by us before we ever started talking about it and that is why we had a totally different experience than normal.

 

I have to admit that I had in my mind what the baby was and I was quite shocked by what the ultrasound revealed. I was sure I was correct and had always thought of the baby as this gender that was in my mind. I was in denial for about a week until it sunk in and now I am soooo excited to announce that we are having another...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GIRL!!!

 

That's right, we will have 3 boys and 3 girls and our family will be complete. So now onto the name of our precious baby girl.

 

Emmalee Jorja Kay- Emmalee we picked after a young lady who was a former youth group member of ours. We have had the pleasure of knowing this young lady since she was like 10 and have watched her grow into an amazing young woman of God! She also happens to be our baby sitter when she is home from college and the kids love her. She spells her name this way and we love the uniqueness of it.  Jorja is after my grandma on my mom's side. She spells her name Georgia but we wanted something different than the normal. Funny thing is that Grandma didn't like that we were naming Emmalee after her until I told her the way we were are spelling it. Then she thought it was really cute. I love my Grandma!! And Kay is after John's mom, that way she really can say a granddaughter is named after her. lol

 

I can't wait to met my baby girl!! I love this picture of her even though you can't see her whole face. In it she was opening and closing her mouth like she was talking. And I love the little hand in it and how her wrist looks kinda chunky. I am so excited!!

 

 

 

 

How is this possible?!

I have been wondering how it is possible to have such conflicking feelings happening me all at once in regards to this pregnancy.

On one hand I am perfectly content to just be pregnant. Well aside from all the nasty morning/afternoon sickness that still plagues me from time to time. But knowing this is my last pregnancy, I am enjoying feeling the baby move around. I am in no rush to get this pregnancy over with, although I could do without all sickness that I have had with this pregnancy.

Then I am so excited to meet this baby that I can't wait until January so I can hold my little one. I am so excited to see her and kiss her little head. To hold my last baby and love on her.

And at the same time I go through times of "what the crap was I thinking" thoughts running through my head. I am enjoying having no babies in the house at the moment and not having to lug everything with us that babies need. I was looking forward to almost being out of diapers and having in 2 years having all the kids in school for a couple of mornings everyweek and being kid free for a bit. But now we are starting all over.

And finally I have times where I honestly forget that I am pregnant. Maybe it is because I have been pregnant so many months of my life that it must not be such a huge thing to remember. Like it is just normal and nothing out of the ordinary.

It is just strange that in the course of a day, I can have all these thoughts and feelings. Maybe I am developing multiple personalities. lol

Notice my lack of posts?!

So if anyone is wondering the reason for my lack of posts lately it is not because I have fallen off the face of the earth. And even though life has been crazy, that isn't even the reason. My darling husband broke MY computer screen and I am without a computer at home right now. It was truly an accident which is the only reason he is still breathing.(Just kidding....or am I?! lol)

No, in all seriousness he was walking while holding the laptop and trying to type it, WHILE on the phone. He tripped and the computer screen was no more. But praise God, after discussing the real need of the computer and if it was necessary to spend the almost $200 to fix the screen right now and making the decision the it in fact is not a need to have it fixed right now, more of a want and we were going to wait, I found our warranty we purchased on the computer when we bought it. And wouldn't you know it computer screens on laptops are covered. So thankful that we waited on repairing it, otherwise we would have paid for something that we can get for free.

Now I am just waiting for the box to come so I can ship off the computer and hopefully have it in 10 business days after the company recieves it. Until then, I only have a computer to use when I am at the church or in the school office on Mondays. And actually I am not minding it too much. We have our smart phones so we can do most of what we need on them, but unfortunately I haven't figured out how to blog on it yet. So until I can blog again, have a good day.

Gender pictures

Pictures that my friend took for our gender reveal after we find out tomorrow

 

Next week and a half

The next week and a half is going to be full of ups and downs. The last night Ryan is scheduled to actually be in our home as our foster child is on Sunday night. And with the way his visit with his mom is set up he will be home at 8 at night, so basically he will be coming home to bath and go to bed. Then I drop him off at school on Monday and he is with his mom the rest of the week.

Wednesday Kennedy turns 4. It is so hard to believe my little baby girl is turning into such a big girl. I love seeing my children grow up but it makes me sad how fast it goes. We will have her party on Thursday and she is already trying to plan an overnight with a friend. She is too young for overnights.

Also on Thursday we are have our appointment to go see the sex of the baby. This is kinda bitter sweet, because as excited as I am to find out the sex of the baby, this will be our last appointment ever of finding out the sex of one of our babies. Although I am totally at peace with this being our last, it is still kinda sad knowing this is the last time we will ever having the excitement waiting to find out the sex of a baby John and I created.

Then on Friday, Ryan is scheduled to be released into his mom's care. He will no longer be our foster son. Although it had been nice having him being with his mom more lately so that our kids can enjoy just being us for a bit, it is very sad. It is bringing an end to the year that we have had him. In that year, God has grown and stretched us in ways I never imagined. Sometimes it wasn't fun or enjoyable and other times it seemed so natural. It will just being sad not seeing Ryan on a regular basis. To not know what he did at school every day and how things are going. We are thinking of asking to still have him one a week or so, so that our relationship isn't lost and that he knows we still love and care for him. I have to admit, I don't have complete peace with him going home especially in light of some very troubling info I just found out, but I am trusting God and praying His will. As much as we love and care for Ryan, God loves him way more than I ever could. No matter what God will be with him through it all.

And then on the following Tuesday Alex starts 2nd grade and JJ starts Kindergarten and on Wednesday Kennedy starts preschool. My house be quieter during the days. Wonder if I will get more stuff done around the house. lol

So anyway this time will be full of smiles and probably some tears. But praise God that He never losses sight of us no matter where we are. He rejoices with us during our times of joy and feels our sorrow in times of sadness. And what more could I ask for from a loving God?!

LONG WEEK!!

It has been an extremely LONG week!! Last Friday I started to feel kinda off. By Saturday morning I figured I probably had a bladder infection. I don't ever remember having one, so I really didn't know what it was like. By that night I was in really bad pain in my lower stomach and couldn't sleep. So Monday I went into the my ob doctor and got some meds. The doctor was amazed that I put up with the pain that long and apparently my infection was pretty bad by that point.

Then later that night I started throwing up and having a fever and cold chills. Called the doctor Tuesday and got an appointment for later in the afternoon. When I went in to the doctor, they were concerned because of my new symptoms and the fact that I was having pain in my middle right back side, around where my kidney was. They were concerned that my bladder infection turned into kidney infection. There was talk of putting me in the hospital but after agreeing to getting a shot of strong antibiotics and watching my fever closely I was able to sent home.

Well that night and into the next morning I still had fevers and cold chills off and on, along with my back pain and my headache that I had thorough out all my sickness that wasn't too bad, turned into a full blown nightmare. The doctor sent me over to the hospital for more tests.

So after blood tests, many ultrasounds, urine tests and such, they were concerned that I had a kidney stone. I honestly was more concerned with my head at the moment that was so horrible, I couldn't focus on anything else. Anyway, long story short, I had surgery, which was really more of a procedure since I was not cut open, praise God!! They gave me a spinal instead of putting me fully out and I was able to see all they were doing on the monitors. Basically they put a tube up my urethra into my bladder and up to my kidney to see if there was a stone. They found not stone, thank God!! The consensus of the urologist was that between my bladder infection, which most likely had turned into a kidney infection, pregnancy(which apparently can cause you to mimic kidney problems), and the virus that they figured out had settled into my upper back and neck muscles causing my horrible headache, all these were the cause of my kidney pain.

I was able to return home and I do feel better. My head is still hurting alot, in fact today my headache was as horrible as it was before, my back around my kidney and bladder still hurts off and on, and I am extremely sore and tired, but I am better at least. Now just praying that it doesn't take me forever to recover from this week long illness!

Compromise

We live in day of compromise, and we seem to be getting more and more ok with compromise. I have been really thinking about our society and the church in general and seeing how even the church is ok with compromise.

We live in days where we act like because the morals of the world have become loose for the most part, that that means God has changed. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. His word does not change. His calling for us to be people who are conformed have not changed.

We are all sinners and when we come to know Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, there is a change in us. Is it a instant change from a sinner wallowing in sin to a perfect person, heck no. God calls us into acts of obeidence and through time He points the sin out in our lives and calls us to deal with it. I feel it is like when you sift flour, you don't just pour the flour in and BAM all the good flour is in your bowl and all the junk is in the sifter, it is a process, it takes time. That is how the process of us becoming more and more in the image of God.

We are however called to stand up for God's word and called to stand strong in our faith. But how much have we compromised over the years. We are so easy to justify things in our lives because we like it. And I am not just talking about the huge issues in our lives we struggle with but also the little ones. Like the shows we watch, the music we listen too, the words that we allow to come out of our mouths, etc. God loves us all, horrible sinners that we are. But should we act like His grace is something that condones sin? It does not. If we are knowingly sinning and ok with that in our lives, never repenting, never distancing ourselves from it, then where is the change in us? Where is the power of Christ? We are the ones not allowing Him to work on our hearts, not God deciding He is done with us.

I am saying this because I see it in myself. I give into anger, use words that I should never utter, and act like somehow I am justified because I had a long day or I am really angry. And yes, often my flesh does rear its ugly head and I act out of anger, but if I don't stop, realize that I grieving God and repent for my sin, where is the evidence that God is working in my life?

Life is hard. Sin is at every corner we look. But that doesn't mean that God makes allowances for us in this day and age. His word is still truth. He is still a holy God, He is a merciful God, yes, but He is a just God. We need to be a people who does not allow compromise in our walk. As God shows us the truth, we should stand on that truth. Is there sin in our lives that we are still not seeing, probably. But as God calls us to deal with the sin in our lives (and sometimes He uses others in our lives to bring it to our attention)we need to pray and ask God for His wisdom and direction in the way to handle it. It isn't always neat and pretty, but God will see us through!