My heart is heavy!

Well after not blogging for a while due to problems loading my page, I am now back.

I have to admit that tonight my heart is very heavy. My great aunt passed away last week, tomorrow is her funeral. And although you might be thinking my heart is heavy from sorrow over losing her, I have to tell you that is not the reason. In truth I bearly knew the woman. We would go and visit her every couple of months with my dad when I was very little. I don't even much about the woman really. I do remember thinking that her top looked very much like heavy iron balls. We used to joke about her boobs made of steel.

For a couple of years she spent months of every year planning a huge family reunion event for that side of the family. My dad would take us and it would be an awesome weekend full of games, swimming, food, and seeing family that we wouldn't otherwise see. Then she got to sick to do it anymore and there was never another one. I miss those reunions.

Then she went to visit her daughter and got so sick, she couldn't return home. So we never saw her again. Her sister would tell us once in a while how she was doing, but other than that I never heard or saw her again.

The reason I am so down is that fact that this woman was my aunt and I will not even notice her absence in my life. Which maybe isn't so strange for people, but it was really sad going to the funeral home and seeing her earthly body laying there, in a small room with only a bouquet of flowers and 3 roses, no pictures of her throughout her life, only a handful of people having signed the visitation book. I wonder if ANYONE will really notice her absence. I know her sister will miss her and I believe her daughter will too, but is there anyone that will be completely lost because she is gone? I mean she was God's beloved daughter, his treasure, the very one he sent his son to die on the cross for, and will her life mean little to people left behind?!

Now I know that she probably will be missed. Her sister will greatly miss her. And I am sure her daughter will grieve for her. It was just hard to walk into a room and see nothing to show what her life meant. Just saddens me that this something that happens daily in the world and we are so tuned into our lives, blind to those around us that we don't notice. Guess this has been a day of revelation to me that I am so wrapped up in my own world that I am blind to others alone and suffering.