I don't know about you but in our household we struggle with attitudes and behaviors in ours. And I would love to say that it is in the kiddos only and that my husband and I NEVER have bad attitudes or behaviors. But alas that is not true, not by a long shot.

I have really been thinking on why we get stuck in a pattern of bad attitudes and behaviors. How it is that those nasty comments, nasty attitudes, and all around nastiness can so easily take over our lives, our families, our hearts. 

One big huge reason I think is we end up justify our bad behaviors and bad attitudes. We get to a point where we are so easily offended, so easily upset that we feel justified in being nasty, in being in a bad attitude. Our inner voice loves to scream why we are justified for our actions!! And how dare anyone question our justification!!! 

I don't know about you but I find that this justification leaves me exhausted!! Being in a bad mood and so easily offended all the time steals our joy! It disrupts our homes!! It can ruin marriages!! That justification can leave us bitter and miserable, and even make us cruel to those we love.

One thing I tell my kiddos is that we can't control others actions and attitudes, but we can control ours. The problem is while we CAN control our actions and attitudes, so often we end up justifying why we DON'T. Giving reasons why it is completely understandable.

I have been praying that God changes this in me. That He gives me a renewed attitude and heart. Honestly I didn't really start actively praying for this until I already saw evidence of this happening in my heart already. When I already noticed a change and I saw how much freedom was in that change. I don't want to be so shackled to my attitude of justification, which also means shackled in my anger, bad attitude, fill in the blank, that I lose all joy in my life. 

I am not meaning that we don't have reasons to be annoyed in situations from time to time, or being angry over something is wrong. But I notice so often something that really should only mildly annoying before could make me so absolutely angry. And why? Because I felt justified in my anger.

Last night John and I went out for dessert. I really wanted this particular dessert from a particular restaurant, so that is where we went. We go to order and low and behold they are out of said dessert. Now this could have made me really upset, I mean I wanted that dessert, I came for THAT dessert my inner justification could have screamed. Yet I wasn't upset, I actually was 100% ok and chose another dessert that had grabbed my eye.....then about 5 minutes later the waiter was walking towards our table. I commented to John "I bet he is going to say they are out of my dessert." And they were. 

Now again my inner child could have screamed that I was justified to be upset, to be nasty to the waiter, to refuse to tip him for having the audacity to not only be out of one dessert I wanted but TWO!! But my response....I laughed out loud. Seriously I laughed out loud. And I ordered a third dessert that sounded amazing. And it was. 

Now I tell you this not to sound all amazing and thinking I am better than anyone who might have been offended, but because I am absolutely amazed and appreciative of this change in my heart. The change that God has been doing. I don't want to be a person who looks for ways I have been offended, wronged, or am justified to be in a bad mood, because you know what? I could always find a reason to be offended, wronged in someway, or justified for being in a bad mood. I want to find reasons to be happy, to see the blessings around me, reasons to smile and thank God for this change in my heart. 

You know what is super annoying to me? When I go to put trash into the trash can and the bag is falling down and I notice people have just been tossing things on top of it. You know who else this annoys? My boys whose job it is to take out the trash. The crazy thing is that the reason it is falling down is their fault. I have told them time and time again when putting in the bag, if they put the bag in with the seams going to the sides of the can, it stretches and stays secure. If they put the bag with seams to the front and back, for whatever reason the bag just doesn't stay secure. Every time I tell them this they roll their eyes and huff, but yet they don't seem to get it, it hasn't fully sunk in. Thus the bag keeps falling down from time to time.

I keep asking my husband "someday they will get it right?" Lamenting to my other mommy friends, praying to God "please let my children become capable adults." You know the cries that most parents at one point or another have cried. lol. And then I see them show me that they are learning. They might put in the trash bag wrong from time to time, they might leave their clothes all over the bathroom floor after getting dressed, they might just walk off not wiping down the counters after doing dishes from time to time. 

BUT there are days where they see the trash needs taken out and do it without asking. There are days when I come home from running errands they all rallied together and cleaned the main parts of the house(happened once but man it was awesome.) There are days when they girls are told to pick up their room and they clean it so good and without any fighting. 

There is hope!!! They are learning!!! And they just might become capable adults yet. :)

 Hi,

So it's been a while. Like 6 years and 2 months. Well there have been some changes, like we have 7 kiddos now not 5, our kiddos are older, I would like to think my husband and I are wiser but honestly who knows. lol. I feel like life is just revolving phases sometimes. There are phases of wisdom and phases of "what were we thinking." Such is life. :)

I decided I wanted to start blogging again because I have been having alot of thoughts and internal dialog with myself and with God lately. I am a "got to talk it out" type of person. Not necessarily with other people, I just need to talk things out, sometimes out loud and sometimes just in my head. I have always been like that. I remember being a young girl walking the short walk from our house down a couple houses to Grandma's and talking things out as I go. I had many a good talks with myself and ultimately with God on the short walk.

Anyway I feel like I am in a place where I desire conversation with others, or maybe just to get them to ponder things that maybe they never thought about before. I am coming to see that depending on where we are in our lives, in a healthy spot or maybe in a really hard spot, our thoughts might be different on topics that we viewed in another light before. 

So basically I am wanting to start blogging again for a place for my ramblings. lol. My thoughts that I find inspiring, or the funny moments of my life with 7 kiddos, or maybe even my low moments. I don't know if anyone will read this ever. Maybe someone will.  My intent isn't to even necessarily to have anyone read it. I just felt having a place to write and maybe, just maybe, reach someone, put a smile on someone's face, or even make someone go "well at least I have it more together than her," might be worth while. 

I plan to go back and read my past posts and see what I felt lead to write in the past. Isn't it crazy how sometimes reading our past thoughts and words are like we are seeing them for the first time. That they seem like they are someone else's words. How we can change so much in life. 

Many blocks to build a house

Ever feel like you just don't measure up? That when you look at the other moms, women, daughters, wives, etc, that you never are at the level of others? That there is always someone who is better at cleaning house, who juggles the duties of mommy-hood, who seems more Christ-like, fill in the blank?

 

I will admit that I feel this way often. And even though I try to act like I don't, I more often than not, feel like I am just sub par compared to others.

 

Tonight we had a board meeting and my husband gave a good devotion. He shared this scripture:

 

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God

and precious to him—  you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual

house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God

through Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 2:4&5

 



He then shared that we are all block used in building the kingdom of God. And like blocks, we all come in different sizes and are used for different needs. He encouraged us to not look at ourselves and judge others or ourselves usefulness or effectiveness based on how we measure up.

 

I mean think about it, blocks are often cut from bigger stones. They are grinded, cut, shaped, etc until they are ready. They come in different strengths, and are used in different capacities. We are just like that. No I might not be just like someone else, but I am still extremely useful to the kingdom of God. And so are you!



Phases and grace go hand in hand

Well it has been over a year and a half since my last posts. Funny how while some things have changed for the most part life seems to just have continued on.

One thing that I notice about having 5 kiddos is that we always seem to be in the midst of phases. One child is leaving a phase to have the next go through it. The never ending revolving door of phases. lol 

I wonder if past parents just started the saying "it's just a phase" as a way to be hopeful. Being just a phase means that at some point then, that this phase will come to an end and yhur child(ren) will one day move past this annoying, hair pulling out, screaming inducing part of their childhood, leaving you hopefully in a better spot sanity wise.

Of course what most will never tell you is that your child will then likely start a new phase, often a harder phae. A new area to test your parenting skills at and then you cling to that hope once more. And if you have more than one child(or for you real nuts like me, many more children) then you will have multiple children, in multiple phases all at once. Pulling you in so many different directions that your head will spin. And your sanity you ask? Well it is better to just wave goodbye to it, because it wont be returning anytime soon.

Then when you are at your wits end, rocking back and forth in the corner, babbling to yourself reminding yourself "It's just a phase" the universe will grant you a huge blessing and you will see your child doing something completely amazing, like reading a book to a younger sibling or playing nicely all together without fighting, or a family or friend will call you up to share something sweet and kind your child did or said, and you will realize that whatever you are doing as a parent, whatever you are saying to child amidst what seems to be constant yelling and correcting at times, that they are turning into some amazing little people.

You will look back at your outing to Walmart with them and how you felt they were running all over and everyone who passed you was staring at you and questioning your parenting skills and why you even felt qualified to entertain the idea of children and you will take off the non rosed color glasses and realize that your outing and the perception of the trip was two different things.

I remember once when Emmy was tiny and John and I took all 5 kiddos out for lunch. Emmy was needing attention and the others were just being kids. We had decided to take them to a little diner, which we regretted because it was full of elderly couples and we were sure we were ruining their lunch. Here I was a tired mom, with a tiny baby and 4 young children, whose only real "crime" was acting like normal children and I felt like a failure.

Then as we were leaving we had a lady come up and tell us she was a retired teacher and her husband and her enjoyed seeing our family and mentioned how well behaved our kids were. John and I looked at each. "BEHAVED?" but as we looked through the eyes of grace and mercy and saw the reality of the day, we saw they were actually pretty good. And to top it all off we found out a lovely gentleman paid for our lunch, also commenting on how well behaved our children were.

So fellow parents, whatever PHASE you find yourself and your children to be in in this season of your life, show yourself and your children some grace. Someday you might actually miss this season of life. (I know, I know, it seems unlikely, but trust me, it does happen)

School is out. It is officially summer.

It sure doesn't feel like summer yet though. It has been cooler the last 2 days. And for some reason, it really doesn't seem like the school year is over. Maybe it is because I have been busy with school stuff along with normal life and kids have been at grandparents houses so it still seems like they are at school.

I have been keeping busy with my crafts. I have sold 6 sets on etsy since starting to sell just over a month ago. I also have been started making custom diaper bags to sell. I am having so much fun. Just wishing I would sell more so I could buy more fabrics. Having to keep myself from buying all the cute fabric I see. Pretty sure I have a crafting addiction.lol

Happy Mother's Day everyone! For many today is a day where we feel loved, blesses, and celebrated. But there are those who today is a day of sorrow and seems more like a torture to see on the calander. I am talking about those mothers who have lost their babies. Or those who have tried and tried and never actually gotten pregnant.

Please join me in praying for peace in the hearts of these women. To pray for healing and God to bless them greatly today. Thank you for doing so.